Art by Redline XIII
Ranger Regiment has joined the Imperium. In a post of the same title on the official Goonfleet forums, Goonswarm alliance CEO and Imperium autocrat the Mittani announced the move and extended the coalition’s hand in friendship.
“I would like to formally welcome Ranger Regiment and their allies into the Imperium for a trial membership in our coalition. We have witnessed Ranger Regiment fighting hard against their enemies in Fraternity, who have allied with our enemies in NCdot, PL and Horde. The moves that must be made are now obvious. Our new allies have agreed to abide by all rules of the Imperial Charter, and will be held to that same high standard of conduct we hold all Imperium citizens as we evaluate how well we can operate together organizationally.”
How this will impact the ongoing fighting in the north remains to be seen.
Update: INN contacted Sort Dragon (leader of Dead Coalition) who gave us this statement: “While we are hurt that Ranger Regiment decided to leave us, we accept their decision and are at least happy that they chose to join our allies in the Imperium instead of our enemies”.
BREAKING NEWS: The Mittani Steps Down
State of the Goonion – June 19 2022
Self-Policing and Public Relations
Deadspace Hoarding Dragon
I feel for those poor bloodraiders. Getting botted into oblivion…..
February 17, 2020 at 10:38 AMGuilford Australis Deadspace Hoarding Dragon
Wow. So clever. Also, you needed to edit that to get it into its final form? Okay.
File your botting reports if you actually have any evidence to back that up, mouth-breather.
February 17, 2020 at 11:19 PMSaint Lucifer
Wow….my comment about knee pads and dick breath got removed by the sensitive goon moderators.
Truth hurts, yeah?
February 18, 2020 at 2:40 AMRhivre Saint Lucifer
Honey, I would have removed that no matter who you wrote it about.
February 18, 2020 at 6:11 AMMark Rothman Rhivre
I’m only upset that I didn’t get to read it before it was deleted.. I’m missing out on the entire half of the conversation that was relevant.. 🙂
February 19, 2020 at 2:20 PMDirk Stetille Saint Lucifer
Your derogation deserved to be banned, not just modded away. Just be glad I didn’t see it first.
February 18, 2020 at 6:20 AMSaint Lucifer Dirk Stetille
Wow….i would have thought dick sucking would be heralded in the imperium. You guys are quite good at it.
February 19, 2020 at 2:18 AMDevilish Ledoux Saint Lucifer
Hoes mad.
February 18, 2020 at 1:20 PMArrendis Saint Lucifer
Your comment, like that of Deadspace Hoarding Dragon below, was amazingly banal and unimaginative. It was, if I’m being honest, beyond boring and on into being downright tedious. The ‘comment’—if it can even be called that—indicated very little actual wit and neither any effort nor appreciation for the potency of a well-crafted cutting remark. That you would clutter our website with it was more insulting than the putative insult managed to be.
Some members of the editorial team might have taken offense to the content or to the denigrating attitude toward certain sexual activities and possibly occupations. For myself, though, I considered deleting the comment purely out of quality control and a respect for the potential of the English language and the art of scathing remarks. I mean, at least try to be as imaginative as the writers of the venerable Red Dwarf.
“Only this morning, you called me a cancerous polyp on the anus of humanity.”
Frankly, sir, if I didn’t like the sound of my own textual voice enough to type this out purely for self-amusement, your entire existence wouldn’t be worth the negligible amount of calories used in this response.
February 18, 2020 at 5:36 PMSaint Lucifer Arrendis
Oh wow. A millennial who has a dictionary! Goddamn you are an erudite of the English language! Enlightened beyond measure and rocking that hoodie on stream like a boss! Go Bernie, yeah?
February 19, 2020 at 2:20 AMRhivre Saint Lucifer
I like you, you are cute, I am just deciding if we should keep you.
February 19, 2020 at 7:10 AMArrendis Saint Lucifer
Hang on a sec. I break out a line from a brit-com from 1988, and even give you the show’s title and the fact that it’s a dated reference… and you think I’m a millennial? I’ve got a response for that, but I think this guy is getting a little tired of people taking his name in vain.
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/24/ce/68/24ce68281b14e4035970e8078289ca30.jpg
Seriously now, my kid sister isn’t even a millennial. Fuck, my car is almost old enough to drink, and my favorite leather jacket’s got it by a few years. (I did lose my leather vest in the goth clubs one night in ’93, though, so that’s the only piece of outerwear I still have that’s that old. But you know, when the DJ’s spinning Andrew Eldritch and there’s a gaggle of cute girls competing to be the sluttiest Death, who the fuck cares about a biker vest that looks like it came out of the video for Cuts Like A Knife, eh?)
Really now, that kind of lame assumption for the easy ‘millennial’ shot is exactly the lazy, unoriginal bullshit I’m objecting to in your original comment[1]. It’s weak. Take some pride in your work! You want to be an asshole? Be an asshole! I don’t mind, I enjoy doing it, myself. But good god, man[2], do it well. Be good at the things you set your mind to! Get some real meat-and-potatoes in there, instead of this pathetic little low-effort, no-thought tofu crap you’re peddling.
Notes:
1. And not for nothing, really, but ‘Saint Lucifer’? Not exactly original, is it? ‘I know! I’ll make my online handle The Devil but be all ironic about it an’ shit! Yeah, ok. That doesn’t just scream ‘My D&D characters were always CHAOTIC EVIL cuz it’s the evillest there is!’ kind of lazy.
2. Or, you know, woman. Or non-binary. Or however you identify. I don’t know, and I’m not judging. He, She, They, Xhe, you do you. Just do it well, please.
February 19, 2020 at 4:34 PMYoshi Tadaruwa Arrendis
Only in EQ is ‘Erudite’ a noun describing a race who specialized in Magic. Ahh EverCrack, how I miss you sometimes. LOL
February 20, 2020 at 2:24 PMAlizabeth Arrendis
Where would I go about petitioning to change the color of the font of your prose to purple?
February 20, 2020 at 11:41 AMHell-Nico
I can’t wait for the chinese players to get enough of a foothold in the server to suddenly merge into a deathball and backstab everyone that thought they’ll be able to control them.
This is going to be hilarious.
February 29, 2020 at 8:27 AMLD Hell-Nico
Shoot, yousee us through.
March 24, 2020 at 1:10 AM