ALOD: Gotta Go Fast!

2015-06-10

In EVE, it doesn’t take long for one to realize that it is nigh-impossible to insta-align in most ships, save for interceptors or Leopards. The new Victorieux Luxury Yacht may have the potential to align quick enough for it to be effective, but unless you’ve got perfect skills and ISK to throw, it isn’t going to happen.

However, this does not stop the audacity of some capsuleers, who feel that their ISK and expensive egg baskets would be best spent on making their ships align to the nearest bookmark the fastest. However, there are some things in EVE that are axioms of playing it. One is that you will always die at some point, and that you can never instantly align and warp out in an industrial of any kind.

Jita, I am getting real tired of your shit.

Here we have someone who attempted to Usain Bolt out of the undock of Jita IV. Obviously, this failed or this ALOD wouldn’t be written, but there are things we can learn from this kill.

From the looks of this kill, the worst part is that this person is not only hauling nearly 31 billion ISK in assorted implants and BPCs, but they were also suspect when this occured.

For the likes of Aldmeri milk drinkers carebears and PVPers, being suspect means jack shit, unless of course you are attempting to dock at station in a popular system. However, being a hauler while suspect gives assholes like me a free pass to poop all over your shiny, bad fits and reap the labors of your bad decisions. And goddammit it is fun.

While we are looking at this, lets take a look at what he was carrying.

I can’t really forgive this fellow for his numerous BPCs, as it appears he is assisting Sansha’s Nation in invading empire space again, which I would consider tantamout to heresy. I would also question the wisdom of anyone who decided to haul this many implants in a Blockade Runner, at least in the context of the Jita undock where Tornados, ever the vultures they are, are quick to murder anything shiny or stupid.

Really the worst part is that this would have been painfully easy to avoid. Rather than try to make an industrial insta-align, the best option would have been to either take an interceptor, which is a ship that CAN instantly align, or to tank the piss out of a Deep Space Transport like an Occator. Personally, I would not undock with all my eggs in one basket like this.

To the pilot of this stupid shitfit, you deserve every point of damage you got, and you deserve to have that wreck popped.

This article originally appeared on TheMittani.com, written by Vos.

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