Goons are going to Goon
The definition of “Goon” has morphed somewhat over the years. Nowadays you get labelled a Goon for having any association with The Imperium. This means that any member of The Imperium is a Goon. Any friend of The Imperium is a Goon pet. Anyone posting anything that remotely agrees with a “Goon” perspective means that they are a Goon sympathiser. No longer is it quite as necessary to have a Something Awful account and try to reg date shame others to qualify as a goon of some description.
Indeed The Imperium has been on a journey of evolution although the guiding principles to a large part remain the same. Something that seems to be forgotten at times.
Surely no one can be that daft?
Given the vast amounts of words that have been written about the exploits of the Goons, you would think that those looking to join the world’s largest gaming “guild” would be at an advantage. With even the simplest of checks, you could work out what you need to do to become a member. Dotlan has key information on it and many of the recruiting corporations all have very clear guidelines for joining. In fact with the amount of information available you would have to question the abilities of anyone failing to ensure their safety in Eve Online, especially given its harsh reputation.
Once upon a time…
There were a couple of super pilots looking for a new home. Having seemingly burnt their bridges at The Bastard Cartel alliance they cast their eyes towards The Imperium. More specifically to the corporation of Amok. They contacted General Waaargh as was rightly the case in order to proceed with their application. The joining pilots pitched that they were simply unhappy with their current home and as such were looking for a new one. During the application process, it became all too apparent that at least one of the applicants was economical with the truth, to say the least. Not only was their story not adding up it also seemed that they were inclined to leak intel from their own alliance. These are attributes that are generally frowned upon unless they are for the benefit of The Imperium. It was during this process that “the plan” was hatched to deny their application in true goon fashion.
They say that a picture is worth a thousand words, so here (NSFW) are some pictures with bonus comms.
The plan was originally to have the potential recruits duel it out 1 vs 1. The winner would get to join Amok. and the loser would have to perform the walk of shame in a pod. Unfortunately, the Nyx Supers simply died too quickly for that part of the plan to unfold. Amok. members are often quite and excitable bunch and the doomsday shots only prove this point. Do also note that not only were the applicants not yet in Amok. but that they also blind jumped to what is, in essence, a hostile cyno.
Yet another cautionary tale
As you would expect this news soon went to Reddit and there were a number of posts that popped up regarding this “recruitment scam”.
This is where the Reddit user Gucci Ormand pops up, one of the owners of the now newly dead super. Gucci Ormand seems to be far from a shrinking violet from their posting history. In fact, it would be fair to say that quite the opposite is true. Gucci Ormand has quite the number of comments and some of the more recent key ones are as follows:
I’ve got so many Intel channels open, some I’m not even supposed to be in, plus people’s personal channels, plus public channels. Plus the default corp/alliance channel.
I’ve got 16 accounts
You would think that perhaps Gucci would have learnt to exercise a bit more caution after this happened. Alas, it seemed not to be the case. Especially as he seems to have claimed:
Gucci Ormand > yeah, awox was how i lost my last super. 🙁
Gucci Ormand > and whats even worse is it was PL. >_>
Never change Goons, never change.
So as much as those who “HAT GON GRRR GON” will point at how terrible we all are for such an action, do keep in mind that we have also written about this cautionary tale. If you wish to join us then please learn from the errors of those who are unable to pass the simplest of tests. Amok. are actually recruiting at this time, but spies, liars and ne’er-do-wells need not apply.
As always I like to try and find the positive where possible. In this instance, the 2 Nyx pilots now have an additional tale to recount in their Eve story, as do Amok. members.
It should never be forgotten that “we are not here to ruin the game; we are here to ruin your game“.