GSF CEO Update: The Imperial March


(Editor’s Note: Alliance Updates are aimed at internal audiences and usually are considered the gospel truth by their membership but vile propaganda by everybody else. You should definitely know this by now. Now, enjoy this update¬†from The Mittani.)

lord marshal mctaggart at the gates of delve

CEO Update: The Imperial March

The Saga of Three Bads

This week we have witnessed something truly unique: a coalition-wide failure cascade. For months we have carefully ratcheted up the pressure on N3 while secretly working on new diplomatic and strategic avenues. We knew months before Fanfest that 3-BADZ would again try to invade us while we were in Reykjavik, again fail, and again be vulnerable in the aftermath of that failure. Instead of letting N3 limp away to lick their wounds, we dropped seven shades of hell on them. They were caught completely by surprise.

Suddenly, Pizza and Pandemic Legion are working with us, the Initiative is slamming into Immensea like a freight train, some jerk gave European Goonion a whole Machariel Fleet to play with, and the StainRus are boiling out of their trenches. We deployed the mailed fist of our coalition into Delve with the Reavers sent to the heart of Querious.

Nulli Secunda broke immediately. Fraternity have announced their pending disbandment. Darkness and Kadeshi are madly evacuating. Ev0ke is running from Tenerifis to Querious, only to find that NCdot has announced their retreat from Querious and the removal of standings from their Northern Associates renters. Black Legion has announced they will be resetting N3.

Congratulations are in order to everyone on our side – now it’s time to make some changes around here.

you know what, fuck all this noise, we out

The End of the CFC Era

The best time to abandon an unwanted region is after successfully defending that region from a bloc-level invasion, then putting your boot on the throat of your attackers. We’re out of Fountain and Cloud Ring by the time Fozziesov hits.

Some of our allies are merging and strengthening: LAWN grows ever stronger under the sage leadership of Thoric Frosthammer, who will soon be the Warden of the East with Bastion in Vale. Executive Outcomes are heading to Branch. Some of our allies will no longer be with us. This is what we call a “bullets and lifejackets” moment for our coalition. It’s the Rapture and some folks who don’t appreciate the State’s path of unity, discipline and victory are going to be left the fuck behind.

The CFC is dead.

Our new coalition is the Imperium.

grand admiral kcolor is playing world of warships again

The Birth of the Imperium

We named the CFC as a half-ass joke four years ago when Goonswarm Federation found itself the last power standing in the rubble of the old Northern Coalition. We did not expect the CFC to last, nor could anyone guess that the coalition would develop into the largest networked group of disciplined talent the internet has ever witnessed.

The CFC began as a rag-tag group of allies of convenience, thrown together by circumstance and geography in the aftermath of a power vacuum. Who deserves the credit for transforming these disparate groups into the coalition which repeatedly won Eve Online? Vile Rat and his brainchild, Corps Diplomatique – and then after our friend’s senseless murder, the tireless efforts of his protege, Sion Kumitomo. Under the guidance of Corps Diplomatique we have solved the problems of ego and byzantine politics which repeatedly have crippled our foes. Despite our massive size, the coalition is shockingly nimble: we can turn on a dime, take regions, drop regions, redeploy en masse, and still surprise foes.

In the past four years we have changed and developed our methods and practices. We have taken half the galaxy and learned the risks of overstretching our borders. We have learned how to cultivate lasting relationships with mature allies – and how to quietly (or violently) remove troublemakers. We have created a modern state in internet space- with highways, borders, a loose federated system of government, networked communication systems, and innumerable social programs. The ragtag clusterfuck of 2011 has grown into a true space empire – an Imperium.

Choose your favored Imperial metaphor. For some that will be 40k, others will invoke Trantor, some will adopt the trappings of Dune, the Culture, the Galactic Empire, or just straight up Rome – in each case, our victory comes from unity and discipline.

memo to cva: kiss the ring

Totally Serious Roleplaying News: Amarr Victor

The first act of our new Imperium: we formally declare our undying loyalty to the True Emperor of Amarr: Maximilian Singularity VI, First of His Name. Anyone in New Eden declaring for the False Empress Jamyl will be violently disabused of their heresy and their territory forfeit. Until the CONCORD-protected zones declare for the True Emperor, we’ll have to content ourselves with enforcing the True Emperor’s truth across Providence the moment that Fozziesov goes live. We grant Providence the opportunity to reflect upon their sins and seek redemption by bending the knee, just as I have.

Goonswarm 2015: We are not here to ruin your game, but to ~enhance your immersion~

Trantor is the cool place to hang out. You can find most of the cool people there. In Trantor you can just chill and do whatever and totally relax. “Take it easy” is the Trantor motto, for example, that’s how laid back it is there. Show up if you want to have a good time. Another good reason to show up is if you want to hang out with friends.

Panem et Circenses: Propaganda Contest

The Empire is in shock: territories being abandoned, allies relocating or on the way out, a massive war in a far-away territory. Our path is clear: we will distract the populace with games and amusements.

Pick your imperial gimmick of choice: 40k’s Imperium, the Foundations, the Culture, Star Wars, Rome, Cyrus. Make something awesome with it. Post it in this thread and we’ll select the winners. If you want to hurf blurfs about unity, discipline and victory and be serious business, you can do that; if you want to photoshop Laz and Blawrf as Sanguinus and Leman Russ, you can do that too.

CATEGORY ONE: Hurfing Blurfs, the kind of stuff that will help our allies recruit as we go into Fozziesov. Imperium-related branding, “blessed is the mind too small for doubt”, all that.

1st Prize: Station name + 1bn isk
2nd Prize: 500m isk
3rd Prize: 250m isk

CATEGORY BUTTES: Silly season. Anything goes as long as it makes us laugh. You can make fun of 3-BADZ, you can do something related to the new coalition, go nuts. Open category.

1st Prize: Station name + 1bn isk
2nd Prize: 500m isk
3rd Prize: 250m isk

you know what, fuck your loser 300 spartans gimmick

This article originally appeared on, written by Ryan Vincent.

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