Battle Report: Booshed Into The Blender


PAPI experimented with their new booshing doctrine last night, June 30, in 3-D, proving one thing: the Imperium’s woodchipper still works effectively. Forming in USTZ under Hedliner and Sandrin Stone, the two fleets were comprised of the Magus Command Destroyer and other booshers, including the new “nano Cerberus.” The result was the same as with every other 3-D battle thus far; PAPI lost the ISK war 27bn to 6bn in kills and no objectives were completed.

Part 1: The Gatehouse

The tactic, as stated by Gobbins during his recent Town Hall, was to use the booshing fleet to clear Imperium fighters off the gate, then to use the extra speed of the nano Cerbs to burn through the elaborate bubble and wubble maze and then kite from range. The scheme of the maneuver was set; however, the execution was lacking. The Imperium formed hard into carriers and Muninns, outnumbering PAPI from the start. The Cerb fleet jumped through the gate, and although they managed to escape the bubbles, they were set upon by Muninns, and without Info Links they couldn’t match range. The result: a trail of wrecks 200km long stretching from the gate.

PAPI Nano Cerberus – A faster route to the woodchipper.

The booshers suffered a similar fate, joining the fight shortly after the Cerbs. They proved ineffective at clearing the fighter swarms. Even if they were deployed first, as per the plan, the most effective boosh would move all the fighters off the gate 100km away. But, with a max velocity of around 1,500m/s, a fighter would return to its original position less than 10 seconds after this push. As events turned out, the Cerberus fleet did not need assistance getting off the gate, just assistance surviving.

After the Cerbs had been eliminated, the Imperium set upon the now isolated booshers, eliminating what was left on the field while sustaining minimal losses. The whole experiment lasted 24 minutes. The best theory crafters in the game were sent back to the drawing board, with more SRP requests to process than actual solutions to the 3-D problem.

Part 2: The Prisoners Escape

After the initial battle was over, the Imperium, not content with their jail cell, once again broke out of “containment,” this time to Querious. Travelling to T8T-RA in a combined Jackdaw/Drake fleet, they destroyed a jump bridge before moving on to other objectives. Sporadic engagements occurred throughout Querious, as PAPI Assemble attempted to re-assemble a fleet to get the prisoners back into jail.

Jackdaw on Jackdaw fights occurred, with both sides trading evenly. However, eventually PAPI managed to obtain a critical mass and the containment breach was nullified as the last of the Drakes was destroyed in F2OY-X in Querious after reffing a Northern Coalition iHub. The Imperium once again showed that it is willing to pay for objectives in blood. A full battle report for the nights activities saw the Imperium winning the ISK war 38bn vs 15bn and accomplishing three objectives. The butcher’s bill in mainline ships was:

  • PAPI
    • Cerberus: 52
    • Jackdaw: 52
    • Command Destroyers: 42
  • Imperium
    • Muninn: 3
    • Jackdaw: 58
    • Drake: 36

Part 3: Don’t Tell The People!

One of the most interesting elements to the evening’s fights was the attempt to cover over their failures in the PAPI Assemble discord channel. The ping channel, established after M2-, shares alliance pings across the coalition and did see an uplift in fleet numbers during February through April. After the initial pings were sent out, it was clear that the experiment in 3-D had ended in complete failure. Yet, not wishing to share this information with his line members who threw ships into the fire, PAPI FC Sandrin Stone shared the following Battle Report.

This BR, carefully picked by PAPI leadership, shows only the battles following the Imperium’s breach of containment, ignoring the feed in 3-D, despite the fact that Sandrin actually was the FC earlier in the evening. It is another example of the super coalition attempting to cover up their failures and maintain morale.

With the offensive against the O-EIMK constellation ground to a halt in the past two-plus months, tonight’s assault was the brainchild of Pandemic Horde leader Gobbins. Once again asking his line members to train into different doctrines, the newest idea simply made sure that the Imperium’s blender was working effectively. Having switched tactics from Blarpies, Azbels, Retributions, Skybreakers, Nano Cerbs and now Command Destroyers, PAPI are throwing mud at the wall just to see if anything sticks. With numbers falling and a further reluctance to pay the iron price, PAPI look bereft of ideas and is running out of that critical component: morale.

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  • Guilford Australis

    PAPI in May: “We will counter The Imperium’s supercapital armada with frigates!”

    PAPI in June: “We will counter The Imperium’s supercapital armada with… uh… destroyers!”

    Can’t wait to see July’s “theorycrafting prowess.”

    July 1, 2021 at 12:34 PM
    • William Doe Guilford Australis

      Their braintrust of elite theorycrafters seem to be comprised of smoothbrained cretins. Still,I enjoy watching them fail.

      July 1, 2021 at 1:52 PM
    • Corvettes? They get a civilian gatling pulse laser and a 1mn civilian afterburner for free so no need to worry about SRP too……. The killmails are very low value too so PAPI can stop worrying about the large ship loss battle reports. Corvettes the only way to go. Fixes all their problems in one fell swoop.

      July 1, 2021 at 2:07 PM
      • Garreth Vlox chimpy

        Watch them immediately demand smart bombs be nerfed after a single rokh deletes their rookie ship swarm meta.

        July 2, 2021 at 10:11 PM
    • how about, shuttle?

      July 1, 2021 at 2:41 PM
    • Caleb Ayrania Guilford Australis

      So we guessing Juli will be battleships?
      So by xmas they will actually bring the big toys?

      July 2, 2021 at 5:42 AM
      • Garreth Vlox Caleb Ayrania

        looks they skipped t1 BS and went straight to marauders

        July 4, 2021 at 1:35 AM
  • J Moravia

    It isn’t embarrassing to lose a battle while trying a new doctrine. It IS embarrassing to post a doctored battle report in a bad attempt at a cover-up.

    July 1, 2021 at 2:43 PM
    • Bramble Dax J Moravia

      Didn’t see doctored BR but if it’s so have to agree. Nothing to be ashamed about trying something that failed but no need to hide it. If it had succeeded then kudos for brilliant new strategy, if it doesn’t then meh, 20b lost is not crippling, move on and try something new until either find something that does work or build up a sufficient cap reserve to throw it against the walls until something breaks

      July 1, 2021 at 7:32 PM
      • Lordis Kall Bramble Dax

        It’s telling though that over a very small number they feel the need to spin the br

        July 1, 2021 at 9:12 PM
      • Eve_Osir1s Bramble Dax

        Misleading BR is how I would describe it. The PAPI FC says tonight and only includes part of the night; a tactic I regularly call Koolaid Math. The idea being that you subtract the parts you don’t like from the BR. The tactic isn’t exclusive to PAPI. It’s used to many to shine a better light on a bad result.

        July 2, 2021 at 12:28 AM
  • Moomin Amatin

    Sier will be along soon to tell us how Goons once doctored a battle report from a decade ago.

    July 1, 2021 at 3:31 PM
    • shanemacgowansteeth Moomin Amatin

      Or that this was a crushing SAPI victory, or some super strategic insight into Goons that only they can provide

      July 1, 2021 at 5:00 PM
  • dragonshardz

    Correction: The IHUB in F2O was not merely reinforced, but destroyed.

    July 1, 2021 at 5:18 PM
  • kwnyupstate .

    You can’t bring sub-caps to a cap fight.

    July 2, 2021 at 12:04 AM
  • Seir Luciel

    The past couple attempts with this doctrine haven’t been too successful, but as J Moravia has stated, that’s to be a bit expected from a new doctrine. The fleets I was in there seemed to be some confusion among line members about the cerb doctrine: many were much slower than they needed to be and Goons chewed the stragglers up pretty bad. The booshing seemed to be working pretty well, seemed promising, but it couldn’t make up for the slow cerbs. Also, I think quite a few PAPI pilots are still training into the booshers; I don’t think the fleets that the FC’s wanted.

    It’s a challenge; if PAPI forces feed too hard they risk tanking morale. But as people try out the new fits, and as people break in the new strategies, I don’t think you can help but lose some fights. Some times pretty badly. Luckily, while embarrassing, confusion over doctrine can be fixed with time. But morale can be harder to fix if it gets too low.

    If PAPI is going to be successful at breaking into Goon defenses they are going to need to keep stoic, accept the losses, and gain practice with some of these new fleet compositions; they have a logic behind them, and from what I could see, though their implementation wasn’t perfect nor was the br very good, you could see the idea behind it and you could see it working if implemented better and with more critical mass.

    Goons are partially right when they talk about the willingness to pay the butchers bill, but on a smaller scale. (Goon’s usual line about the large butcher’s bill, to me, looks pretty asinine; more of a taunt/propaganda than an actual observation, but one a lot of Goons have bought into.) PAPI’s going to need to be willing to pay the price for experimentation and getting line members used to these new fits. Their novelty shows. We’ll have to see if the logic behind them pays off.

    July 5, 2021 at 5:03 AM
    • Garreth Vlox Seir Luciel

      ” But as people try out the new fits, and as people break in the new strategies, I don’t think you can help but lose some fights.”

      You could always just nut the fuck up, and play with the titans your leaders bragged about so loudly for months, that’s a tried and true strategy that still works and you even managed to use it correctly in the first round of m2-, but then you someone misplaced their spine and it all went down hill from there.

      July 14, 2021 at 8:06 AM