The Imperium mobilizes for war in the North

Paramemetic 2018-07-09

Following months of casual harassment by small groups of bored Imperium SIGs and Squads, the Imperium has committed to upsetting the galactic balance and is in the process of deploying a true war fleet to the beleaguered region.  With Pandemic Legion deploying its supercapital fleet to Immensea, only the Northern Coalition remains to protect the villains who disgrace Deklein and the surrounding regions with their presence.

In a statement this afternoon, The Mittani announced,

We are flagrantly violating the galactic balance of power by deploying the largest single armor supercapital force the game has seen under one coalition banner up the ass of the north.

Let’s see how Vince Draken enjoys his new purpose in life as Sort Dragon’s babbysitter as PL leaves him behind to wipe GOTG’s asses while PL seeks to get back at TEST for the Providence humiliation~

Last night saw the first stages of the war effort as the Imperium, fat with trillions in profits uncountable even in convenient Delve Time Units, deploy an unstoppable engine of armored space firepower, even as Fortress Delve remains secure under its still-present supercapital umbrella.

Deklein remains oppressed under the heel of an ever-present surveillance presence, as GOTG ratters and miners face constant harassment from an omnipresent campaign of cloaked observers. Having already been ground down under the heel of a few Imperium FCs and their plucky bands of space hooligans, it is uncertain how GOTG will resist an actual invasion.

Those wishing to see the raw military might of the greatest economic powerhouse New Eden has ever seen will be disappointed, however, as only a fraction of the Imperium’s full industrial and military power will be leaving Delve.

For those of you already indignantly mashing buttons about the biased tone: yes, this is, in fact, propaganda.

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Comments

  • Moomin Amatin

    Moomin’s Fact Check

    Paragraph 1 – completely true.
    M’tarni statement – completely true.
    Paragraph 2 – completely true.
    Paragraph 3 – completely true.
    Paragraph 4 – completely true.

    It is probably worthwhile to set this straight early on as well. With the declaration of M’tarni (PBUH) being clearly aimed at the suffering of GotG and anyone foolish enough to come to their aid. Nothing more and nothing less was claimed.

    So I am calling you out Paramemetic, as you claim this was propaganda yet it was all completely true. I think I could even argue that it is significantly more accurate than the supposed neutral spewing of other supposed neutral commentators.

    July 9, 2018 at 11:15 pm
    • Erick Asmock Moomin Amatin

      Moomin fact checks…best fact checks.

      July 9, 2018 at 11:18 pm
      • Total Newbie Erick Asmock

        If I could only get Moomin to Verify this is indeed 8 inches |—————|

        July 10, 2018 at 12:50 am
        • Mintaki Total Newbie

          Moomin would admit that is indeed 16 inches. Then he would slap you with it.

          July 11, 2018 at 6:47 am
    • xearal Moomin Amatin

      Just because something is true doesn’t mean it’s not propaganda. Werther or not something is propaganda has more to do with HOW it’s presented than how truthful it is. ( Although propaganda pieces do tend to be ‘liberal’ with the truth )

      July 10, 2018 at 2:55 am
    • thesispaxa Moomin Amatin

      the lawman’s reign is nearly over, tell him to hasten to meet his dearest friend i/o wasting on pixels, life is indeed a blink.

      July 10, 2018 at 2:08 pm
  • Wigitgetit

    Great article all the way around. I can already taste the salty tears of our victims.

    July 9, 2018 at 11:15 pm
  • Jonathan Timko

    I think you underestimate yourself on this one. I’d agree GOON has unlimited money when you have a leader who wallet tanks along with having an entire federation living in one little bubble. I’d also agree you have a massive super cap fleet, although I’d suggest stopping the idea this is an actual invasion since you’ve hit the north about 3 desperate attempts and failed at getting anywhere more or less.

    The second thing is point out is your cloaky camping is going to hurt GOONs as you have given us one more reason to piss on anything you would think about bringing up. Your campers are weak and don’t drop on anything that isn’t a cap so yes you stopped our caps but fail to stop our subcaps Even with all the alts you have planted in our space.

    In the end it doesn’t matter, GOONs salty because beecontrol is wiping you off the board so you’ve returned with your super caps that have already failed once and now you fight a force that is more than willing to end your force in the north once and for all.

    July 10, 2018 at 12:39 am
    • Total Newbie Jonathan Timko

      You should wipe the Sort Goo off your chin and stop drinking that kool-aid.

      July 10, 2018 at 12:49 am
      • Dave Stark Total Newbie

        I doubt he can hear you over the sound of all the slurping.

        July 10, 2018 at 6:53 am
        • Zarnum Dave Stark

          Quick! Cut off his hands so he can’t slurp!

          July 10, 2018 at 1:17 pm
    • Erick Asmock Jonathan Timko

      Did he actually say “beecontrol”?

      This guy is funny. You keep touting how your sub caps are bringing in the isk. lol

      July 10, 2018 at 1:47 am
    • paramemetic Jonathan Timko

      I’m sorry, “wallet tanks?” Like, “has space money?” Is this a euphemism for being rich?

      If that’s what you mean, it’s not just Dear Leader who is “wallet tanking,” it’s the whole damn coalition.

      July 10, 2018 at 4:56 am
      • phuzz paramemetic

        It’s pretty obvious that goons must be making an absolute fuckton of ISK just based on the information in the MERs.
        Now if they’re just ‘wallet tanking’ their super fleet, it does beg the question, wtf are they actually spending all their ISK on?
        The obvious answer is that they don’t need to wallet tank, and the industry of Delve is going to build supers, but I’m sure some people will accuse them of RMTing that ISK and then using real money for their super fleet…

        July 10, 2018 at 11:55 am
        • Hydrium phuzz

          We started our “A Titan for every Goon” program awhile ago.

          July 11, 2018 at 6:47 am
    • SonsOfLiberty Jonathan Timko

      The fact that you are posting this here right now is proof that those camps were effective. By your tone you are more than a little rankled about it too.

      July 10, 2018 at 6:49 pm
    • Mintaki Jonathan Timko

      The myth of beecontrol is once more envoked! It’s actually kind of cute how you guys actually think that you’re impacting the ISK faucet that’s been developed in Delve! I’m betting the MER is too complicated for you to interpret then.

      July 11, 2018 at 7:03 am
      • paramemetic Mintaki

        If they are actually slowing down industry in Delve it means our economic output is even stronger so, wow. _Nice_.

        July 11, 2018 at 1:54 pm
    • INCOHERENT RAMBLINGS

      July 12, 2018 at 3:40 am
  • Donnie Carter

    This is not surprising considering how much of PL’s forces deployed down south. I for one look forward to the KB’s being lit up. Armor caps will give you guys an advantage when it comes to tidi that is for sure.

    July 10, 2018 at 1:23 am
  • Dirk MacGirk

    Finally, a genuine reason for unleashing Para’s propaganda. We should all smile that war is finally upon us and revel in the propaganda it will bring.

    July 10, 2018 at 3:55 pm
  • Feiryred

    VFK by August? 😀

    July 10, 2018 at 5:56 pm
  • jem

    ……Harrassing GOTG miners? How about the half trillion in excavator drones destroyed? I was just out mining and ratting 3 goons in system. We have adapted. The north stands together.

    July 11, 2018 at 8:08 am
  • Hrvoje Perun

    bla bla bla bla, like goons will fight if they dont have duble the numbers on field

    July 11, 2018 at 9:11 am