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EditorialEve OnlineFeaturedNews

THE IMPERIUM GOES TO WAR: Carthage Must Be Destroyed

by Arrendis December 29, 2016
by Arrendis December 29, 2016 14 comments
526

Carthago delenda est

Cato the Elder didn’t like Carthage. That’s a bit of an understatement. For many years he ended all his speeches – no matter how unrelated – with the phrase “Furthermore, Carthage must be destroyed”. I still remember the anger in Laz’s voice when Sebastian confirmed that CO2 was betraying the Imperium. At that point I decided to end my posts with my own “Carthago delenda est” and signed my post (after my name of course) with “FUCK CO2”. I eventually got tired of writing seven characters and stopped doing that, I’m not Cato, but the anger still burned. The Romans went to Carthage and tore down the walls and salted the land. Today Carthage has come to us.

One of the best things about EVE is having enemies. Everyone loves someone to loathe. How else do you explain letting ASCEE into comms? CO2 stabbed us in the back after we fought hard to defend their space (and made our favorite supercapital FC quit after he had to deliver the news of the backstab when GigX muted his microphone). TEST are ancient frenemies who have steadily filled up the enemy column, they were the only ones to follow us south after we gave up on the Casino War. FCON is a live action role playing experiment to see if French-style bureaucracy can ruin a space nation too.

On the flip side, loyalty in spaceships is like a monogamous rapper or an AM0K. good post. StainWagon was one of our only allies who deployed to the north and fought for months in what was becoming more and more clearly a losing battle. You can’t RMT fidelity (although I’m sure Russians have tried it) and we haven’t forgotten.

Most of you know how these wars start by now. The aggressors will take a few systems against the locals before we’ve fully deployed, win the war on Reddit and then watch as their numbers collapse week by week. Along the way a WIdot pilot will solo scout his titan into a dreadbomb and unknowingly bless our efforts. Someone will say something stupid in Elysium, it will get posted everywhere, our enemies will wring their hands and demand we remove him (or her, it could be a her, sorry for assuming their gender) or we will be complicit in his war crimes!

The FCON diplomacy team must have watched the movie 300 and turned it off right before Leonidas yells “THIS IS SPARTA”. Their main diplo Jacques and the FC leadership council of Theo, Louis, and Maxime have been threatening us in increasingly desperate tones that if we got involved in the war on the side of StainWagon that they will make two famous supercap groups deploy against us. J’accuse you of poorly bluffing us FCON!

Medieval scholars would debate how many angels could dance on the head of a pin, meanwhile modern-day Pokanos wonder how many goons can sit in a chair before it breaks (answer: usually one). Surely those many hours of watching a Myrmidon orbit a hub while indulging in gentleman’s entertainment (chinese cartoons) must have been for something? Yes, you bought a glorious shield super or half built armour one. Now you get to use it. All capital and supercapital assets are deploying with us. That means that Delve will be a ghost town. All capital ratting and mining should cease immediately.

Speaking of pinheads, did I mention that GigX is leading this campaign? That means you should be ready to see enemy dreads/capitals/supers dropped at any time. Probably at the most hilarious time possible, but it’s important that we are ready to strike back. That means not only are we deploying all our assets, we are deploying every soul. Bring every combat capable pilot, bring your cyno alts, bring your PI hauler, bring your copies of The Art of War and quote them to FCs right before we start a fight.

Deployment starts in all time zones on 12/30, with further deployment ops after the Fireside on 12/31

TL;I’m Chinese

  • We are deploying to Catch to help our allies and fight old and new enemies
  • All ships are being deployed, including supercapital assets
  • Every person is to bring all their combat capable pilots to the deployment zone.
  • Stop capital ratting/mining while we are deployed
  • Deployment begins 12/30

(As always, alliance addresses are propaganda aimed at internal and external audiences. This address was provided by Goonswarm’s Asher Elias.)

Alliance UpdateCO2fcongoonswarmImperiumTESTwar
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Arrendis

At over a decade, EVE is the third-longest bad habit of my life. When not playing EVE, I'm usually spouting off about something in a way that's going to make someone irritated. And to the incomparable Fluffy von Bloodletter (aka Hank)... miss you buddy. The last two years just haven't been the same.

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