Headline: Snoozefest Upcoming!


As the PAPI Coalition tightens its grip on 1DQ, and as they make war plans to capture the last remaining Goon stronghold, we ask whether they are saving the game, or destroying it. Saturday, April 24 saw Pandemic Horde leader Gobbins address his troops in a Town Hall address. The normally quiet but steady figurehead opened his speech with “If you are expecting a massive fight then I think you will be disappointed.” At that point we could almost hear the groans of everyone who plays the game. PAPI’s slow and steady grind may yet see them emerge victorious, but their intent to assault the Imperium’s capital without a headline grabbing fight will do enormous damage to the whole EVE Online brand.

Some Build Titans to Use Them

The whole galaxy is holding its collective breath, waiting for PAPI to attack 1DQ, but if you keep people holding their breath for too long, eventually they suffocate and die. The aptly named “Anaconda” has wrapped itself tightly around Delve. It has successfully destroyed all but one Keepstar outside the 1DQ1-A constellation. However, in doing so it has denied us all the opportunity to fight in another battle similar to M2-XFE. Innominate, on The Meta Show, summarized the difference in approach between Goons and their adversaries: “the reason why Goons buy supercapitals is so they can die gloriously in combat, whilst most of the rest of the game buys super capitals to give them social standing in their group.” This difference in culture is evidenced in what we are seeing in World War Bee.

Some Build Titans to Say They Have Titans

We, as actors in this fight, must be under no illusion for what the blue donut coalition represents. This is a structure formed from almost all non-Imperium alliances in the game, designed for one goal: to eliminate the group that doesn’t think like them. PAPI isn’t interested in good fights; rather, they are only interested in grinding out the win. Vily famously said they are here to “save the game,” but whether by design or poor strategy, they now sit on the cliff edge of destroying EVE Online.

If we were to use a sporting analogy, PAPI are the spaceship version of playing 10 defenders in football (which Americans call “soccer”) or, in cricket batting out for a draw. For you Americans out there, I’ll compare this PAPI strategy to winning the World Series by having your best home-run hitter bunt a man in from 3rd on a suicide squeeze instead of having him swing for the fences to win with a walk-off homer. Or in basketball, getting a large lead and then making sure you run out the 24 second clock every single possession. No excitement, no cheers, no drama. But a win.

PAPI is the team that gets booed by their own fans after a two-pointer at home for the draw when they passed up a wide open 3-pointer for the win. EVE Online makes the headlines when the big fights happen. These huge fights are why non-players know about the game and are the reason it attracts new players in its 17th year. No one ever clicked on a link with the following headline: “Small Group Shot an Unarmed Structure!” The BBC will not cover the onlining of an Azbel or a cheesy starvation—however, if we are the game that destroys $1,000,000 in a night, heads will turn.

Want to Fight or Post?

This is a fight for the very soul of EVE Online. It isn’t Imperium vs PAPI. This is a fight between players who want to have fun versus those who are more interested in reddit posting. If you are a PAPI line member who was hoping for a rousing speech or a “tonight is the night, of nights” moment, I feel your disappointment. If you are a line member, I would have wanted the pre-battle rush, standing at the gate, waiting to jump into occupied territory. Well, forget it.

Ask yourself, when you are having a beer at the next EVE convention, are you going to tell stories about the time you killed a Sotiyo uncontested? Or will you talk about the time you stormed the gates of the most heavily defended fortress in gaming history and lost your Nyx, then reshipped and went back in again? This is your choice. Do you want to go to Home Depot again, or do you want to go skydiving?

Everyone who is interested in gaming is looking forward to the 1DQ Battle. Think of the possibilities. Could it be the last stand of the Imperium, the moment where they hold back the tide outnumbered, outgunned but somehow prevail against the assault on the citadel? Or, maybe it’s PAPI’s heroic charge, the story where they fly into the mouth of the dragon and slay it against thousands of Goon pilots. Or equally likely, the story of when the servers melted like the polar icecaps. The point is, it doesn’t look like we’ll ever get to know and we will never get to experience such a battle if the Suffocation Coalition gets their way.

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  • EVE Player #27482716

    “…. their intent to assault the Imperium’s capital without a headline grabbing fight will do enormous damage to the whole EVE Online brand.” Bullshit. The rest of New Eden can’t wait for this nonsense to be over with.

    May 1, 2021 at 11:47 AM
    • Amen!!!

      May 1, 2021 at 2:15 PM
      • Havish Montak Noob


        May 1, 2021 at 2:46 PM
    • Inslander Wessette EVE Player #27482716

      this ^. sorry to say .One way or the other i want this shit show to be over . Papi has destroyed delve .Glass fountain again. Go home . Its been a year . There is an all new industry patch . Goons are not going anywhere even if you get 1dq. While the rest of imperium is not even IN delve anymore . Use your fucking brains and less your ego . Throwing feroxes endlessly on both sides is like arranged fights in lowsec . Its not a war and it doesn’t need 3 blocs to be in one region all it needs is 3 jump gates and a weekend with beer .

      May 1, 2021 at 2:54 PM
  • Deni'z von Meanace

    Not every but many supercaps, especially titans pilots from PAPI side don’t want to risk their fancy toys without 150% to be sure they will won that battle and get the lost toys reimburse in case of lost. But the thing is there is no such guarantee. And there are more than 1 KS to contest and they won’t be able to smash goons superfleet in a single fight. Dilemma.

    May 1, 2021 at 11:53 AM
    • kwnyupstate . Deni'z von Meanace

      If titan’s weren’t replaced from M2 months later I would say there is zero chance PAPI pilots will get new titan/super losses replaced from yet another engagement. Basically PAPI pilots will only log on if they are ok with just losing the ships at this point. However Imperium will do it just to survive the war. This is why I can’t see any way for PAPI to win these final engagements with sub-caps vs big toys.

      May 1, 2021 at 3:00 PM
  • Noob

    It is depressing to see a storied alliance such as the goons reduced to bleating “they aren’t beating us correctly.”

    May 1, 2021 at 2:19 PM
    • kwnyupstate . Noob

      Isn’t it PAPI’s now stated strategy to wear down goons until they don’t log on anymore and then destroy the structures? So PAPI wants to win by making a large part of the game not play anymore. How is that a good way to win a war? In my opinion that is pathetic and therefore PAPI is what is wrong with EVE.

      May 1, 2021 at 2:56 PM
      • Dripple kwnyupstate .

        The strategy is EXACTLY to wear goons down, is it them not logging back in? moving to another alliances? nobody gives a ****, name of this war has been about morale and persistence AND IT WILL BE ABOUT THEM TILL THE END.
        If you are going to stop playing if 1DQ falls, then EVE wasn’t for you in a first place, Alliances/corporations/BOBS/Waifus Get evicted/quit and stop existing, but EvE players usually find their new homes and survive one way or another.
        Even if goons fall it won’t be the end of the EVE no matter how you howl for “serenity v2” Imperium will either win this war or get punched into knees, banished into abyss, but they will be back in some shape or form.
        I just hope it isn’t this current whining/bitching / “we follow this *** and griefe because our sand castle was kicked down version of goons.

        May 2, 2021 at 6:44 PM
        • kwnyupstate . Dripple

          And that strategy is sad considering how many people PAPI has. They are scared to just attack 1DQ and take the battles as they come but instead want to wear people down and hope they won’t log in. So yeah now their strategy is to hope people won’t play the game.

          May 2, 2021 at 7:23 PM
    • Carvj94 Noob

      It’s not “they aren’t beating us correctly” it’s “they haven’t beat us yet cause they aren’t fighting correctly and wasting their significant numerical advantage”

      May 1, 2021 at 4:35 PM
    • Deni'z von Meanace Noob

      It’s shame to see a storied biggest coalition such as bunch of cowards please ignore scared to fight single bleeding bee.

      May 2, 2021 at 1:39 AM
  • kwnyupstate .

    PAPI strategy is to make goons stop logging on so in actuality their strategy really is to make lots of people stop playing the game.

    May 1, 2021 at 2:42 PM
    • Seir Luciel kwnyupstate .

      Goons have assured us they aren’t going anywhere. Frankly, I believe them so I’m not that worried. Should I be?

      May 1, 2021 at 3:23 PM
      • kwnyupstate . Seir Luciel

        They won’t however I just see it as a lame tactic by PAPI. Just not so long ago PAPI kept stressing how they don’t want to get people to stop playing and not they reveal their genius war strategy and that’s exactly what they are saying.

        May 1, 2021 at 3:50 PM
        • Merry Christmas Mr Cricket kwnyupstate .

          TIL Goons are lame.

          May 3, 2021 at 8:10 PM
    • Merry Christmas Mr Cricket kwnyupstate .

      So PAPI’s using Goon strategy?

      May 3, 2021 at 8:09 PM
  • Seir Luciel

    I’ll be honest, I was disappointed about the idea of not having a huge Titan clash at 1DQ. But when I remember Goon taunts and rhetoric after M2, I’d rather win cleanly and without mistakes.

    Truth is 1DQ is going to be epic regardless of whether Titans are used or not. Thousands of players and destruction like no other. Goons have been wanting us to attack 1DQ for a while now; well, yall are going to get your wish soon enough and I hope to see you all there. Its going to be fun. Its going to make history.

    May 1, 2021 at 3:20 PM
    • Novartis Seir Luciel

      I’m going to compare this to some of the stories of the medieval ages. Grinding the constellation and 1DQ using subcaps only is just like how it works with real castle siege. It’s long, it’s boring, it’s costly, and more importantly, it’s bad for morale. However, charging straight to the gate, getting the amount of casualty and actually breaking the castle is what written down in the history. Why is the fall of Constantinople is so exciting? Because it’s a siege, but a quick one. The attacker doesn’t wait to starve the enemy, they directly attack it days and night, and finally breach it. There’s heroic tale in it, something that will go down with the history. They don’t just say that they just nudge the defender here and there until the defender is exhasuted or starved, they directly mount the attack, and finally take the city.

      However, many more castle falls inside the diplomacy, whether when the defender starved, or ransom is paid. Nobody write in details about this kind of history. Why? It’s boring, it has no heroic tale at all! There’s no point about making a song about that average joe who siege the castle for 4 years and never wield his sword once!

      It’s the same thing here. You can’t starve 1DQ from food. But your siege just ask to starve both PAPI and Imperium from most of the fun they could get. This kind of stand-off strategy is a two edge blade. It works against the imperium, and surely also work to PAPI line member also.

      May 1, 2021 at 3:55 PM
      • Seir Luciel Novartis

        Historians and Public Relations worry about narrative; generals and warriors worry about winning.

        Choosing between being brave/foolish and making a mistake to be laughed at by Goons for all eternity (and they would) vs. being boring, slow, and methodical but winning and hearing Goons complain about it for all of eternity: it isn’t a hard choice.

        But all this is besides the point. There is a reason Goons are trying so hard to shame PAPI into attacking; it provides opportunities that only favor Goons and harm PAPI. It’s bait. It is hoping the opponent’s ego and foolishness will win out over clearheaded, cerebral execution.

        Never take advice from your adversary.

        May 1, 2021 at 4:50 PM
        • Moomin Amatin Seir Luciel

          “but winning” but a mere moment ago you seemed to accept that Goons are going nowhere. You know how we are about this “extermination” thing. It was a foolish thing to form PAPI with when there were far better options.

          This is now a lose-lose situation for PAPI unless they really do stop people from playing the game. If you create a new objective now having spent so much time following the “extermination” one it would look pretty weak. Now is it worth it? To stop people from playing in order to get a win?

          PAPI have made error after error in this war. They have to as it is the only way you can explain how 150k vs 50k is taking almost a year to get to the home of the 50k. I mean the alternative is that this is all part of the PAPI plan. I think we can both agree that there is not a PAPI plan though.

          Now you know what I wrote back in September. You know I at least was under no illusion as to what was stacked against The Imperium. I did not feel the need to lie or spin then just as I have no need now. What I wrote then stands today as it did then.

          May 1, 2021 at 7:08 PM
          • Bronze Condor Moomin Amatin

            Imperium, specifically Goons, will survive Afgoonistan style. Worked out for the Taliban in the end lol.

            May 2, 2021 at 5:21 PM
        • Novartis Seir Luciel

          As I said before, PAPI current tactic is a two edged sword. It works for goons, and surely work for PAPI members too. How confident you are to say that PAPI line member patience will prevail against Imperium line member, when Imperium member in-game live technically at stake while the other’s don’t?

          May 2, 2021 at 2:02 PM
  • While I am sure that CCP is sad that there won’t be a huge, headline grabbing titan battle, after almost a week of sizable sub-cap clashes, “snoozefest” seems unwarranted.

    May 1, 2021 at 5:01 PM
  • Bronze Condor

    1DQ must not fall. We need to rally the entirety of Eve Online’s playerbase to launch the largest counter-offensive in Eve’s history against the PAPI home worlds. Everything from Ventures to Titans, burn it all to the ground. Now is the time, they have grown complacent amidst their hubris.

    May 2, 2021 at 1:17 AM
  • Romulus Loches

    I was just disappointed the rousing speech link didn’t go to this, “Tonight is the night“…

    May 3, 2021 at 2:13 PM