Perception, meet Reality


Welcome to Goonswarm…

So, there I am, minding my own business (ok, I was ship-spinning in Dairy Queen – don’t judge me) when a pop-up grabs my attention.

<name redacted – opsec> wishes to initiate a conversation with you.

“Oh shit”, I think.

This is not a person you want to have inviting you to a conversation – ever.

However, I am KarmaFleet and I am welp squad and I fear nothing. I accept the conversation.

“Are you enjoying life in GSF?”

“Er, why yes,” I say.

“I see.” There is a pause. I stare nervously at the screen and wait.

“I ask, because we have noticed that you don’t seem to be doing any mining.” There is another pause. It gets longer as I desperately try and think what to say. In the end the welp squad side of me takes over and I launch myself into the fray.

“No, I don’t mine. I don’t like mining.” I say defiantly.

“You… don’t… like… mining?”


“What do you like?”

“I like killing things. Lots of things”.

“Well, we all like killing things, but when we’re not killing things, we mine”.

“I don’t”, I say.

“But, this is Delve! This is Goonswarm! We mine! We build Rorquals like other people build Tier 1 Frigates and then we mine”. “The Mittani demands that you mine!” “I demand that you mine”. “Do you know how to spell ‘Commissar’?” “Let me show you…”

Bong! Bong!

With a sudden start, I wake up

Bong! Bong!

I stare wildly round the room. I realise it was a bad dream. I recognise directorbot calling! I grab my phone and stare at the screen. Havish Montak is calling us to arms. Time to die!

For many people, that wasn’t a dream. They really think that is the reality that is Goonswarm. We exist to mine. We mine because the Mittani demands it. We devote our lives to growing larger and larger fleets of Rorquals and chewing into moon chunks. Nothing else matters.

I am so glad that when I joined KarmaFleet just before the skirmish in Hakkonen in the summer of 2017 that I didn’t know that about Goonswarm. If I had thought that the reality of my existence was to be one of PVE-related activities with only occasional forays into adrenalin-inducing battle, I wouldn’t have even bothered applying.

I’ve been playing multiplayer games for a long time. A very long time. I have discovered that I really do not like the PVE aspects of those games. I accept that they are, to a certain extent, necessary. If you want the fancy toys you need to do PVE to pay for them, unless you just choose to exist by credit card alone; and I am not one of those who can afford to do that.

Fortunately, Goonswarm couldn’t give a flying fig if I don’t want to PVE. They do however care a lot that I like to PVP. They do everything they can to facilitate my forays into PVP. They give me ships. I lose the ships. They give me some more. Guess what? I lose those too. I get replacements. I make some money. I buy the odd ship, or two. I lose them. I get them refunded.

I fly on fleet after fleet. I learn on every fleet. I listen and learn. I have plans to FC. Goonswarm are more than happy to accommodate that plan. I want to give back to Goonswarm without having to mine. I have applied to the Gooniversity Faculty (nudge, nudge) so that I can join the great bunch of folks who spend a lot of their time handing those ships out to newcomers like me. Hopefully they will accept me so that I too can give newcomers the tools to go out and have a ball in this monstrously addictive game.

I will be going Omega soon. I’ll get better ships. I’ll do more PVE so that I can afford those ships, but it will be the mimimum, not the maximum. Goonswarm is not about mining for your life, it’s about being part of a whole where miners mine, explorers explore, builders build, industrialists stroke their spreadsheets and welp squad (best squad) does what it does best – dies in a ball of fire, but only after having lit an inferno.

There is something for everyone in this game and there is something for everyone in Goonswarm. Try it. You might just like it. Even mining.

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  • Havish Montak

    I am Havish Montak and I approve of this article.

    January 21, 2018 at 12:42 PM
    • Sothas1l Havish Montak

      Is it your favourite article on the Citadel?

      January 21, 2018 at 3:30 PM
  • Alaric Faelen

    Great read. I have been playing since 2011 and am exactly the same. I log in when Jabber pings, fly virtually every sub cap so no matter what the doctrine or fleet role we are short- I can jump right in.
    I’ve been coasting on less than 10 bil that I ratted up back when I lived in Cloud Ring years ago. With SRP I can fly in 3/4 bil isk boosting ships with T2 implants- and then do it again the day after I get blown up. And again and again.
    Joining a big sov alliance is freedom. Freedom from PvE grinding. You can grind all you want– or not at all. I mostly go ratting after one fleet, killing time until the next ping. Mostly after a fleets ends, I just log out. PvE sucks.

    None of our (GSF) corps have requirements of more than a couple fleets a month, so if you are care bearing in high sec….you are only hurting yourself.
    Seriously- spend the tiny amount of training to fly Interdictors. That’s it. If you fly those no one will ever care if you fly anything else. Go train into mining or market PvP all you want, just fly a Dictor and you will always have a place in fleets and the forbidden man-love of your FC. Then spend the rest of your time making yourself rich in upgraded sov space. Or don’t- log out and wait for pings.
    In GSF, you have the freedom to do either.

    January 21, 2018 at 8:28 PM
  • I remember when I first joined Goonswarm, and I’d sit at my PC all day long doing roaming fleet after roaming fleet, buzzing around in Drakes and Rokhs. Go on fleet –> roam for hours –> die in a fire –> snack and wait for new roaming fleet –> repeat. Eventually I started to lead my own roaming fleets when there weren’t any to go on. I ran roaming gangs through Delve and Period Basis (back when they were BoB space) for about 24 hours straight, once. We killed a Rorqual that was AFK above a POS… they must’ve fallen asleep while anchoring POS mods. Good times…

    January 22, 2018 at 12:32 AM
  • Eli

    PVE shouldn’t be a grind, it should be a story. That’s what appears missing from EVE, the quest PVE environment. Missions are usually single act ‘stories’ that are extremely repetitive. Incursions begins to get better at PVE in that it’s a group activity that requires team roles to play but it’s without a narrative. We need engaging story lead PVE in Eve. In other games, I’ve even had the joy of battling a boss in a PVE group battle for as long as a tidi major battle in Eve (6 hours of gameplay) and finally won. Those sorts of epic battles one remembers. You don’t get that in Eve. For PvP though, Eve is great!

    January 24, 2018 at 5:14 AM