Welcome to Goonswarm…

So, there I am, minding my own business (ok, I was ship-spinning in Dairy Queen – don’t judge me) when a pop-up grabs my attention.

<name redacted – opsec> wishes to initiate a conversation with you.

“Oh shit”, I think.

This is not a person you want to have inviting you to a conversation – ever.

However, I am KarmaFleet and I am welp squad and I fear nothing. I accept the conversation.

“Are you enjoying life in GSF?”

“Er, why yes,” I say.

“I see.” There is a pause. I stare nervously at the screen and wait.

“I ask, because we have noticed that you don’t seem to be doing any mining.” There is another pause. It gets longer as I desperately try and think what to say. In the end the welp squad side of me takes over and I launch myself into the fray.

“No, I don’t mine. I don’t like mining.” I say defiantly.

“You… don’t… like… mining?”

“No”.

“What do you like?”

“I like killing things. Lots of things”.

“Well, we all like killing things, but when we’re not killing things, we mine”.

“I don’t”, I say.

“But, this is Delve! This is Goonswarm! We mine! We build Rorquals like other people build Tier 1 Frigates and then we mine”. “The Mittani demands that you mine!” “I demand that you mine”. “Do you know how to spell ‘Commissar’?” “Let me show you…”

Bong! Bong!

With a sudden start, I wake up

Bong! Bong!

I stare wildly round the room. I realise it was a bad dream. I recognise directorbot calling! I grab my phone and stare at the screen. Havish Montak is calling us to arms. Time to die!

For many people, that wasn’t a dream. They really think that is the reality that is Goonswarm. We exist to mine. We mine because the Mittani demands it. We devote our lives to growing larger and larger fleets of Rorquals and chewing into moon chunks. Nothing else matters.

I am so glad that when I joined KarmaFleet just before the skirmish in Hakkonen in the summer of 2017 that I didn’t know that about Goonswarm. If I had thought that the reality of my existence was to be one of PVE-related activities with only occasional forays into adrenalin-inducing battle, I wouldn’t have even bothered applying.

I’ve been playing multiplayer games for a long time. A very long time. I have discovered that I really do not like the PVE aspects of those games. I accept that they are, to a certain extent, necessary. If you want the fancy toys you need to do PVE to pay for them, unless you just choose to exist by credit card alone; and I am not one of those who can afford to do that.

Fortunately, Goonswarm couldn’t give a flying fig if I don’t want to PVE. They do however care a lot that I like to PVP. They do everything they can to facilitate my forays into PVP. They give me ships. I lose the ships. They give me some more. Guess what? I lose those too. I get replacements. I make some money. I buy the odd ship, or two. I lose them. I get them refunded.

I fly on fleet after fleet. I learn on every fleet. I listen and learn. I have plans to FC. Goonswarm are more than happy to accommodate that plan. I want to give back to Goonswarm without having to mine. I have applied to the Gooniversity Faculty (nudge, nudge) so that I can join the great bunch of folks who spend a lot of their time handing those ships out to newcomers like me. Hopefully they will accept me so that I too can give newcomers the tools to go out and have a ball in this monstrously addictive game.

I will be going Omega soon. I’ll get better ships. I’ll do more PVE so that I can afford those ships, but it will be the mimimum, not the maximum. Goonswarm is not about mining for your life, it’s about being part of a whole where miners mine, explorers explore, builders build, industrialists stroke their spreadsheets and welp squad (best squad) does what it does best – dies in a ball of fire, but only after having lit an inferno.

There is something for everyone in this game and there is something for everyone in Goonswarm. Try it. You might just like it. Even mining.