Header art by Major Sniper
As the Pacifier and Enforcer get a buff, INN passed the reins over to Vinnegar Douche, Chief of The Wormhole Police to bring you the good news.
It’s me, Vinne. Now, I’m sure many of you dirty crooks can read. You will have seen that the Pacifier has had some changes – now, those of you who know me will know that the Pacifier is a favourite of mine. In fact, when Wormhole Police deputies graduate to full Officer status, they are given a freshly fit Paci with a SARO ‘Black Troop’ SKIN so they can take down all those dirty criminals in style. But we all know that the real king of J-space is the Astero. There is no better ship in the game, double rep, cap boosted, cloaky; there is nothing that little boat can’t do.
Hearing the great news that the Pacifier, and its big brother the Enforcer, are getting a buff is music to my ears. I told those suspected criminals at CCP that they had forgotten about the CONCORD ships when they did all those fancy schmancy Black Ops and Nullification changes. So, I’m actually happy – happy I say – that they have listened to me. With an extra high slot, Officers and Deputies can fit a probe scanner + cloak + 3 turrets or launchers (but who uses missiles?!). In addition, it has a Powergrid upgrade and a speed boost as well. That gives it a fuckton more DPS and about the same speed as an Astero without a prop. This is truly a great day for those capsuleers who put their lives on the line to protect those culturally sensitive landmarks in J-space.
As for the Enforcer. Well, let me tell you. That boat is now a serious contender for a WHPD doctrine. Extra high slots and extra turrets put it in line with a Tech 3 Cruiser. As an extra bonus, those fine ship designers at CONCORD have added a drone bay, too, big enough to fit five small drones, extra damage, or some ECs to get you out of a tight spot. Sure, the Enforcer is a bit light on tank, but everyone knows that a Police SKIN adds 10+ to all resists. The shield of the law will be on your side. And for you honest living types, both ships maintain their Armor Repairer bonus equal to 10x your security status. So don’t be shootin’ each other in high sec. No no no.
The good folks here at INN have given me a platform and goddamnit am I going to take it. If you are a dirty criminal who likes to come into wormhole space and steal grandma’s jewels from a relic site, or download ancient pornography in data sites, your time is up. No more Asteros with four warp core stabilizers – those things are gone. The WHPD is on to you and we’ll catch you every chance we get. Also, we’ve seen a lot of scumbags taking bigger ships or worse, planting space stations in wormhole space. Let it be known that Wormhole Space is no man’s land, or woman’s land, or their-land, and we will do whatever is in our power to protect the locals from your heinous criminal activity.
But let’s not get away from the great news. Our Officers can now proudly fly the WHPD flag with their spiffy SARO ‘Black Troop’ SKIN in a new fleet of super Pacifiers and Enforcers. But don’t be confused: the upgrades have given you another gun to shoot criminals with, not to put on nullifiers or any of that bullshit. The last thing the WHPD wants to see is crooks not only desecrating sacred wormhole space, but also dragging the Pacifier’s good name through the dirt by fitting Relic Analyzers to it. Don’t do it! If I ever catch you DIRTBAGS flying around in a hackifier I will kill you twice!
Thanks to the Chief of the WHPD Vinnegar Douche for that thorough and pleasant analysis. Be sure to see more live action police work on The Wormhole Police Twitch.